The number of children you choose to have is really no one else’s business – so why should you have to justify it?

It seems like the moment you’ve had your first child, people are already asking about when you’ll be having your second. For a lot of people, this question is mildly frustrating, but if you don’t plan on having anymore children, it can just be downright rude.

The Dreaded Question

Jen Schwartz from MotherhoodUnderstood shared a post about her experience of being a mum of one on popular Instagram page Hello My Tribe. Having always planned to have one child, Jen was subject to invasive questions about her plans for the future, only adding to the difficulty she faced battling with postpartum depression. “If you were to ask me when I knew I was done having kids, I would tell you – I knew I was done the day after I brought my son home from the hospital, the day when postpartum depression hit me like a category 1 hurricane.” Despite increasing awareness around PPD, for many women, its effects are so severe that they opt not to have any more children.

Already Created A Masterpiece

Sick of justifying her decision, Jen’s encounter with a friendly stranger was just the refreshing perspective she needed. Whilst having a mani pedi, Jen found herself talking to the woman beside her, who upon hearing that she had one son, asked her if she was having another. When Jen said it wasn’t in her plan, the women’s response was unexpected. “She replied that she only had one son too and said ‘sometimes when you create a masterpiece, it doesn’t make sense to paint another.”

We love this story – at the end of the day, when it comes to how many children you have, the only person that has to be happy with the number is you and your partner.


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Do you have a one child family? Let us know in the comments.


  • Judging or shaming is so not ok. What do we know of other people’s stories ?

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  • Yes I have one daughter and doubt I will have any more children. Everyone has their own set of circumstances and no one ever has the right to judge, you don’t necessarily know what people are going through.

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  • I am the mother of an only child. I never imagined this would be the case, however circumstances have led to this. It is nobody’s business. It took me 4 years to fall pregnant, 2.5 of those on IVF. Until you walk in someone’s shoes who has been unable to fall pregnant, then has been given the miracle of a child only for it to be so traumatic that we would never consider a second, please don’t judge me. My son is loved, adored, and a great human being. I don’t think I’ve ever fully accepted the idea of an only child, but I’m so blessed with the one I have.

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  • How weird-I was discussing this very subject with a friend on Saturday!! I didn’t plan on having children but now have a beautiful 10 year old daughter which I would not change for the world! I suffered bad post natal depression and experienced a labour I could never go through again. I am constantly asked if I’m having more children and when I say no I am TOLD that I cannot do that!! Is there a rule book I’ve not read that states you’re not allowed to only have one child?!
    (What about women who have tried and tried to have children and through IVF or good luck have been blessed with one child!?!???!? but can’t have anymore through no fault of there’s?)
    My response is I would rather have one child and a mother who can mentally and emotionally give her the best then 2 children who don’t have a mother because she’s in a mental health unit!!!! People should mind their own business but also stop and think about what a mother may have gone through!!!!

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  • Often wish people would ‘mind their own business’ and not ask this question. It doesn’t cause joy to everyone and you don’t know what is going on in their lives.

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  • Shaming has to stop and ignoring stupid comments has to start!

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  • I kept getting asked if I was pregnant, we tried for 4.5 years to fall pregnant and it broke my heart every time

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  • I get really annoyed when people ask when I’m having my 2nd child. I am a new mum, why cant i enjoy motherhood with my 1st born?

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  • Different numbers of kids suit different people, and that’s all there is to it.

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  • Stop shaming parents or each other in general!

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  • Why must people feel the need to comment on when others are going to try for another baby or if they are going to try for a baby of the opposite gender??

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  • It is entirely the parents decision if they are having or not another child! No body else!

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  • I have one only child too, even if I would have wanted more kids.

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  • It’s no one else’s business indeed ! And yes, we can be totally happy with what we have.

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  • What a beautiful way to look at it

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