The bride said that her mother’s behaviour ruined the day and she is struggling to forgive her…

A devastated bride has taken to Mumsnet to share her frustration about the way that her mum behaved on her wedding day. The bride said that ever since her grandmother’s death, her mum has been struggling, but admitted that her outbursts and moodiness were particularly bad at the wedding and ultimately ruined the day.

A Tough Time

The bride says she has supported her mother over the past year without any recognition or thanks. “I’ve been her shoulder to cry on all year,” she wrote. “I’ve let her take her moods out on me…she’s been extremely demanding expecting my husband and I to be at her beck and call constantly. We did this as she was having a tough time.” The bride went on to say that on the day of the wedding, her mum threw a number of tantrums about everything from misplacing her handbag to the lack of attention her daughters were giving her. “I was getting into my dress and she was stomping round the house screaming and swearing,” the bride said. “I ended up sitting in the bedroom I was getting ready in trying so hard not to cry.”

Cutting Ties

After her behaviour on the wedding day, the bride says she has reduced contact with her mum and is struggling to forgive her. “I just can’t deal with her anymore,” she admitted. “How do I get over my disappointment that she couldn’t allow my husband and I to have one day of niceness?” Comments on the post said the bride was completely justified in her decision. “She’s horrible,” wrote one forum member. “You’re doing the right thing. She needs to learn she can’t treat people like this!” “She sounds immature and unstable,” said another. “About time she respected you and your sister as adults. She needs to grow up herself too!”

Even though grief can be incredibly complex and everyone deals with it in their own way, we think this mum was way out of line, especially when her daughter has been so supportive. We can only hope they’re eventually able to work things out!

Did a family member ruin your wedding day? Share your story in the comments!

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  • Hopefully the Mum wises up to the upset she has caused and puts an end to it, even if it is too late for the wedding.

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  • Sad that they have a relationship like this but hopefully they can work it out.

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  • That sounds horrible, our family hasn’t ever had any wedding problems

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  • No family member ruined my wedding day, but I di wish I had had the courage of my convictions and not walked up that aisle – my father knew I had second thoughts and kept saying to me ‘Walk, come on walk’, but I should have run away like I wanted. Years later when I finally left my domineering womanising unfaithful husband my dad admitted to me that every time he and mum came to visit me they wondered if they would find me in a pool of blood on the floor. Bad outcome but I have moved on to a much happier place now.

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  • I think she’s done the right thing reducing contact with her. I wonder what her mother was like before her grandmother died?

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  • I feel upset for this Bride, unfortunately a lot of the time family members don’t see how they treat each other

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  • I hope this lady can sit down with her mum and talk this out. My sister stopped talking to my mum years ago and I see the devastating effects it can have on my moms side and my sister not caring as I get along with both of them. I hope this family tried to find a middle gound

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  • A shame it has to come to this unless the mother can change her ways!

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  • That’s very sad that it’s come to that. Agreed grief is hard and terrible. She could’ve sucked it up for one day and been there for her daughter on what’s meant to be one of the best days of her life.

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  • I had a difficult time with my family from the time I got engaged to the time I got married. Considering that I got married fairly young (22) no one really supported what I wanted to do from my family. However I forgave them and did my best not to stress over the past. They’re my family and I still love them regardless.

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  • I think the reason behind her mom’s behaviour was because she might be fearing that she has to share her daughter with someone else now and their relationship wont be the same as again. I wont suggest cutting ties with her because when we are kids/teens our parents forgive us many times for our mistakes, by cutting ties with her she is turning her fear into reality, I think she should talk to her about that, let her realise what has she done and try to find about the reason behind that. It might be a kind of mental illness since her grandmother died.

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  • How sad for the family that it has gotten so bad they need to cut her off.

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  • I deliberately didn’t invite my parents for exactly this reason, and had a lovely wedding day.

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  • I appreciate the mum was grieving but this was supposed to be a day of happiness and new beginnings. Very selfish.

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  • That was so inconsiderate of the mother. What a pity for the bride. It should have been a wonderful day, full of beautiful moments. I can understand why she’s upset and why she wants to take a break from her mother. :-(

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