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You might be surprised by what parents really think of the dreaded mid year school reports.

Jill from The Motherlode and Mum to four girls, turned to good old Facebook to share her thoughts on the matter saying that they really don’t have much significance in the big picture of things.

Jill wrote, “Mid-year school reports are out. I’ve given them a quick glance, and put them out of sight. It’s taken me until Child #3 to realise this is the significance they deserve. #slowlearner

“As a mum, I’m always looking for an indicator that I’m doing this gig adequately. Tangible evidence to prove I’m passing. Once upon a time, I thought this was found in a school report. If my kid was doing “well”, that means I am, right? #growup

“I’m wiser these days. Miss 6 should thank her lucky stars for the lessons I’ve learned.

“When my eldest two girls brought home reports I took their grades personally. They are naturally straight-A kinda kids. No effort on their behalf, just luck of the draw brain wiring. It took some serious soul searching to realise I was linking my worth as a parent to their genetically-influenced capabilities. And I needed to cut that sh#t out.

“When #3 (Miss 6) began school, I’d evolved. The only thing I cared about was whether she was enjoying herself. Is learning fun? Is reading enjoyable? I can’t find the box on the school report that records this. (But thankfully the answer is yes.)

“This afternoon the girls wanted to know about their reports. Miss 10 has a conference with the teacher so will know her results. But for the younger two, all I said was that they were doing just fine… and then turned the attention to myself. #narcissist

“I asked the girls what kind of grades they would give me as a mother. It was an unanimous C-minus for housekeeping and a generous C-plus for cooking. A resounding A-plus for fun (shucks guys). A B-minus for managing my temper. Another unanimous A-plus for love and encouragement.

“They are generous kids, their gradings are at least two levels above what I’ve earned. And yet it sticks in my head that I only got a B-minus for managing my temper. I feel a little defective. I can only imagine how a 6 year old feels about a B-minus in maths.

“Which is why I now hide the reports, regardless of the grade. I want to raise lovers of learning, not perfectors of performance.

“To the kid with the D in Maths, just like me and cooking, you were designed for different concepts. But let’s keep working at it to keep the masses happy.

“To the kid with the D in English, just like me and temper management, this is important, we need to work at it. I believe in our ability to improve.

“To the kid with the D in Science, just like me and house-keeping, some things simply don’t light your fire. But science is essential, so let’s give it another shot.

“It’s good to know our areas for improvement. But more crucially, it’s good to know our areas of importance. My youngest two were described as “happy students”, my eldest as “insightful and respectful”. That’s about all I need to know.

“To the parents looking at grades tonight to determine their worth, or their kid’s. Step. Away. From. The. Report. Card.

“Love that kid for who they are. That’s all you need for an A+ in parenting. It’s easy to love a flawless report card, it’s spectacular to love the reality of the kid you are raising.

“Miss 6, you’ll never know this but while your report says you are doing brilliantly academically, you are struggling big-time with spelling. You are not “excelling” like your sisters.

“What I will tell you is that you bring sunshine to this world. That you recognise the kid who needs a friend. That your little grin sets my heart on fire every single day. That’s all you need to know. xx”

We asked our MOM’s what they thought of school reports

In a Facebook discussion we asked if mums thought much of the kids school reports and got quite the surprise when we got a flat NO, they really don’t mean anything.

One mum actually shared that there is “No point rewarding when the teachers cut and paste everything in the whole classes reports. My child and his needs, weaknesses and strength are not mentioned at all. ”

Do you feel the same?

Read more from The Motherlode – Mum Shares an Open Letter to All The, Embarrassed, Exhausted, Frustrated Mums…

Read more – How to talk to kids about their reports

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  • Although my girls grades were up and down I always asked if they were trying their hardest and that’s what counts at the most.

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  • I take a balanced approach and if the kids are happy and doing well with the soft skills eg social no sweat

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  • I saw a report of a child who got very high praise by her teachers for every subject for her work and standards yet low grades. The girl only has problems with one subject and has asked the teacher for help in getting a better understanding of it. Why the “conflict” of grades and comments? The teacher will be asked the questions in a meeting – if one is granted. Other parents have previously been given one. To have to wait for a Parent/Teacher meeting more than a month later only makes a genuine problem worse

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  • I take all school reports seriously and discuss them with the teacher where I feel appropriate. You can view your child through a mothers eyes but their teacher spends more time with them than you do during the week and can be an impartial guide to their development

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  • Great article. I used to worry about reports, when I was a child, and with my kids. Now with 3 in school, as long as I know what their strengths and weaknesses are and that they’re doing alright, that’s enough. I can help with whatever is needed, what the teacher recommends. I do like that they can indicate what my kids really enjoy at school as it usually reflects on the performance.

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  • I think Government is nonsense, school agenda’s are rubbish not teaching kids what they really need to know. Start them on psychology and genuine human interactions; money budgeting, life-skills….

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  • I agree that school reports aren’t that important. It’s far more important that our children are happy have friends and overall develop well socially, emotionally, physically and mentally.

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  • There’s so much more than what one person grades your child.

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  • There is definitely a lot more to life than a report card. In the grand scheme of things, writing on a piece of paper should not define a child. School reports shouldn’t just be disregarded either, as time and effort have been put into them. Teachers do an amazing job.

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  • My husband and I are both teachers (I personally haven’t taught since graduation as I went straight into a stay at home mum) and we put a lot of stock in what our child’s teachers have all said. We read each comment carefully and see where our child is excelling and where our child is struggling. We most certainly do not think of ourselves or our child as failing. We see where our child needs help with better understanding and if our child would ever need our help with an area of education we will work with the teacher to further our child’s education! It is, of course, the reason we send our children to school!

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  • I care my about the teachers comments and behavior than I do about how he compares to the other kids intellectually. He’s learning heaps and he’s well behaved (mostly) so grades don’t really matter yet.

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  • It’s good to hear about behaviour and effort and things like reading you can work on but actual grades are what they are as long as they try.

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  • It really annoys me as a teacher that we put so much time and effort into educating peoples children, assessing them against a government set benchmark and put hours and hours into writing reports for families only to have them say that they glance at it and not put much store by it. Yes, it is just one piece of paper int heir kids life but how about taking their education more seriously and putting some faith into what your teacher says about your child. They spend more time with them each week than their parents so they are very qualified to comment on your childs learning and should be respected for it.


    • Absolutely! Couldn’t agree more! It doesn’t determine the type of person the children are, it does however, say how they are doing academically in an academic institution! We take the time to read the comments and every aspect of the report and we appreciate the time and effort put in by each teachers!

    Reply

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