Choosing to sleep in a different bed to your partner could improve intimacy and make your relationship stronger – are you considering a sleep divorce?

Sharing a bed with your partner isn’t always beneficial when it comes to getting a decent night of sleep. By the time you factor in snoring, shift work and temperature difference, not to mention constant tossing and turning, it’s a miracle that any couple is able to get any shut-eye at all. Experts say that the number of couples opting for a ‘sleep divorce’ is on the rise and it could be making their relationships stronger than ever…

Personal Space

Jennifer Adams, who wrote the hugely successful book Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, says that marriage can often be happier when couples give each other personal space. “Show me the stats of divorced couples who shared a bed every night,” she told The Daily Mail. “Sleeping in separate rooms does not mean the end of a relationship, it’s just a way of maintaining a relationship.” Jennifer said that couples are becoming more honest about the need to prioritise quality sleep over sharing a bed. “Talking about it openly becomes more socially acceptable,” she said. “You would be surprised how many happily married couples are already doing this!”

Sleep To Survive

Dr Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist and relationship expert, said that couples sleeping in separate beds is more common than many might think. “Look at the facts. Sleeping has nothing to do with intimacy but we all need it to survive,” she told The Daily Mail. “What I don’t encourage couples doing is permanently sleeping separately. Maybe once or twice a week so you can get a full night’s sleep and you’re not waking up grumpy and resentful.”

We think many couples, particularly mums and dads, value quality nights sleep. If it means opting for a sleep divorce a couple of times a week to get it, we think it’s well worth it for your health and your relationship.

Have you and your partner opted for a ‘sleep divorce’? Share your story in the comments.


  • No but it does certainly sound interesting. I read it and have different opinions on the subject.

    Reply


  • I don’t have a partner, but I have heard of separate beds for both younger and older couples who are happily married. Snoring or thrashing in your sleep can ruin the sleep of the other, and cause stress in the relationship. It would be hard if you love snuggling together though.

    Reply


  • A good night sleep is so important. I know I have woken up a couple of times resentful the husband can sleep and I didn’t for whatever reason

    Reply


  • Sometimes I head off to the spare room, very rarely hubby heads off to the spare room. It all depends on if his snoring and teeth grinding are keeping me awake or not. I do like waking up next to him tho

    Reply


  • I think this would save my marriage!!!

    Reply


  • We sometimes sleep apart when we’re sick. If it helps keep harmony and happiness it is an easy solution.

    Reply


  • Have done this for a long time because of babies and children. I’m actually not a big fan of it but we all value enough sleep so it’s what works atm.

    Reply


  • my husband hated it when I would sleep in the spare room – I did it because A: he snores, B I tend to stay up late watching things on my tablet or reading. In the end he brought me a pair of Bose Sleep buds to drown out his snoring so I can stay in the same bed lol – didn’t have the heart to tell him I also slept in the spare room so I could have my own space, and the doona!

    Reply


  • Have been sleeping in my own bed for years. Hubby has his own room and space and ensuite. Works for us! Kids know that we are all happy healthy are respectful of everyone’s different sleeping patterns and bedtimes.

    Reply


  • I sleep better when I’m cuddling my man.

    Reply


  • It works for a lot of our friends… I’m not ready yet ..

    Reply


  • I like the idea on occasions for when one of the kids is sick or the other adult. However, I would worry that once you start, would it be hard to go back and I think sharing a bed in a marriage is important particularly when many of us have such busy lives and don’t always have those quiet moments with our partner. I find cuddling up with my husband is often the only time we have those moments were we just “stop’ for a bit and ‘be’. We often have the best chats whilst lying next to each other too.

    Reply


  • When someone is sick, or baby has exhausted one of us we will send one person to the spare room so at least one of us gets a good night sleep. It is a good thing.

    Reply


  • love the idea but no spare room in our house

    Reply


  • I know a guy who snores so loudly that you can hear him outside a well insulated caravan,

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?

No picture uploaded yet
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.

Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just submit?

Write A Rating Just Submit
Join