Why this Mum plans to invoice people who don't show at daughter’s party

Mum threatens to invoice people that aren’t replying to the invites she sent out for her daughter’s 16th birthday party.

Taking to Mumsnet to vent her anger she wrote, “Am I being unreasonable to send a terse note to these families? And maybe an invoice?” she asks furiously.

The Sun shared how upset she was at the lack of response.

“Invites given out late July before school broke up. Reminder invites by Instagram in August before deadline for paying deposit and ordering/paying for food,” she explains.

“(I gave) directions to venue and disclaimers along with paper reminder given out at beginning of this week for invitees.”

“I have saved forever to do a fun and unusual activity for her ‘friendship group’.”

The night before the party, three people told her daughter they are not coming – but still hadn’t replied through the proper channels.

“Two have yet to say yes or no. Out of 12 (including my daughter). Minimum for activity is 10,” she says.

“When, just when did people become so rude and unfeeling never mind unconscious of wasting money????????????????”

Many mums agreed it was the height of rudeness, while others said that now they are teenagers – they need to sort it out among themselves:

Do teenagers even tell their parents that they got a birthday invitation?

“I think at 16 kids make their own social decisions, the parents aren’t really actively involved and yes many 16 year olds will not be thinking of the financial implications of their decisions, or possibly even discussed it properly with their parents until the last minute.”

“So are 16 year olds rude, sure they are. Seldom intentionally, more they are just self-absorbed selfish unthinking little twats. I know because once I was one and yup, I’ve had one.”

The mum says her daughter is extremely upset about the unwanted stress around her paintballing party.

“Yes DD is very, very upset (and very, very conscious of the cost as we have had to budget very tightly and she has had to forgo any present in order to afford it).”

“I think it unfortunately demonstrates her ‘friendship group’s’ attitude to her. She is useful when people want her and dropped like a stone when they don’t. I rather suspect she wanted an activity that was ‘exotic’ and appealing that no-one else had done to try and ensure that people did actually come.

“My deepest fear is that the ones who have declined tonight are the polite ones and that others simply won’t show.”

Studio 10 also discussed the topic yesterday, they were worried that mum was pushing her worries onto her daughter.

Do you think she has the right to invoice them for not showing?

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14 Comments

- - ashna9 said
  - 31 Oct 2017
    7:42 pm
It’s very rude when families don’t show but you can’t invoice them. That’s a step too far.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 19 Sep 2017
    1:06 am
Unfortunately this day and age this is all too common. I understand she is upset, but you can’t really invoice people for being rude and lacking manners.

- - mom162203 said
  - 17 Sep 2017
    9:14 pm
omg, she has to be kidding, even thinking of sending those that don’t bother to reply to the invite is a joke. They never asked to be invited, so why bill them if they are too lazy and slack to rsvp. If they don’t rsvp by the required date, take it that they won’t be attending. Don’t book a venue that requires a minimum number. And those teenagers that don’t bother to rsvp need to be taught some respect and manners, a simple reply of yes or no is not that difficult.

- - mom94125 said
  - 17 Sep 2017
    6:04 pm
got to teach kids about real friends and these days, everyone is so fickle. don’t send invoices, teach your kids about the big picture

- - jen1234 said
  - 17 Sep 2017
    9:42 am
Sigh. This is why you have parties that don’t involve minimums. All my life people don’t reply and only a few show up. Those people are your friends and you learn to have parties that only include the people you KNOW will show. Which is why I don’t have parties at all.

- - taynik46 said
  - 16 Sep 2017
    8:21 am
Even if she did invoice them, she doesn’t have a leg to stand on with regards to actually getting any payments! –

If she doesn’t have the direct contact numbers for the people she invited, then she has to rely on them getting back to her. Yes non replys to rsvp’s is extremely rude, it only takes a second now to send a quick text back to say attending or not attending, and most times one text doesn’t cost much! I think she has done as much as she can. Unfortunately if you go and organise a big birthday party at big costs you have to accept the risk that there is potential to loose money on it.

I hope that her daughter has a great birthday regardless of this social media attention and whatever happens she enjoys turning sweet 16!

- - mom206279 said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    7:30 pm
Its definitely rude not to reply but no you can’t invoice people for it.

- - nealsq said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    4:40 pm
It is rude to not reply, I hate it!
- mom93821 replied
  
  14 Sep 2017 , 7:26 am
  It is definitely rude but unfortunately some people are rude when it comes to RSVP dates and responding.
- - mom112217 said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    4:24 pm
No she has no right to invoice them but people should be polite enough to response and say whether they are going or not.

- - mom160421 said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    2:55 pm
I don’t think she can or should invoice. I do understand how she feels; I know I have paid for children that didn’t bother turning up on the day, and it’s so frustrating. I would phone people to get a definite yes or no, and if she doesn’t have the required number of attendees I would cancel and just hold a smaller event.

- - mom90758 said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    2:17 pm
An invoice? Not sure. But I would respect the RSVP date. As extra attention, I could phone the people that didn’t reply by the RSVP to check if it’s sure they are not coming. And then that’s it. Who doesn’t reserve in time, can’t come.

- - BellaB said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    1:54 pm
It’s hard to manage this kind of rudeness, but I don’t think an invoice is the solution.

- - mom93821 said
  - 13 Sep 2017
    12:58 pm
There is no way anyone can be invoiced as you would need a contract/agreement? Clearly it is rude not to RSVP but it does happen. I only ever cater for those that have manners and RSVP and those that don’t miss out!