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Mum asks if she should have another baby to help save her relationship.

Asking on Mouths of Mums she shared, “What’s the pros and cons of the ‘make up baby’?

“I know of people having another child to try and improve my relationship. Have you ever done this and did it work or backfire? What are your thoughts?”

The response was pretty negative

The reaction to the mums post was not very positive at all and she was basically told NO and that it was a ridiculous idea.

“Don’t do it. Your dragging another innocent into your crap!”

“This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve read in a while.”

“No!! Just no!!”

“Omg go and get counselling instead. A new baby will kill your relationship if it’s fragile.”

“Please don’t being another child into a already broken family. That’s a horrible burden for a child to carry (and yes, they will find out eventually) and having split parents is hard enough, why add another child to that?!”

“I wouldn’t recommend it. Having a baby is a lot of work and you need to be on the same page and working as a team.”

“The simple answer is, don’t do it. A new baby will not fix your relationship. Babies are a strain on a good relationship, so bringing one in to save a troubled relationship is just not going to work. It’s also not fair on the child to bring them into the world for such a selfish reason, have a baby because you want one, not to save a relationship.”

“Just don’t do it. Don’t ever look at someone elses relationship and think “it worked for them, maybe it’ll work for me too”. What you don’t see is what happens behind closed doors. They could be estranged behind closed doors or worse. Maybe behind the scenes, they finally worked out their problems and a baby just happened to coincide with the timing. If you have thought about doing this, talk to your partner, get counselling if needed, or just end it. A baby should not be brought into this world with fractured parents. You need to work together to raise a baby, even if you are baby Daddy aren’t together, you still need to have a amicable relationship.”

Do you know any couples who had a child to try and help reunite them stronger?

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  • Should this couple have had their first baby if the relationship was fragile then? No. I know one Mum who was allegedly told she couldn’t get pregnant after an accident she allegedly had. In fact she had previously had an abortion, then later told her new partner she had cysts on her ovaries and they were sucked out which is never done. Another abortion because she had just broken up with her first partner? During their marriage she supposedly had a curette (that’s what she told her husband in front of us and other people) then later told people it was an abortion.

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  • I can’t see that I would work, if your marriage is broken the stress of a pregnancy and newborn will certainly crumble it

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  • I could see it going both ways. I’ve hoped my children would bring me closer with my (now ex) partners when I had them but it didn’t at all. I have heard of a baby bringing love for the parents, but it’s not a gamble that should be taken, especially on purpose. In a perfect world, having a baby with someone you love is blissful love.

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  • Not at all! I can only imagine that it would put more pressure on their marriage. Plus it is definitely not fair on the children.

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  • I’m sorry but I don’t think having a baby is the best way to go to save a marriage.

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  • Making a baby in attempt to safe your marriage is not a good reason to create a precious wee person.

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  • unfortunately as negative as it sounds – it is a very bad idea. It could even possibly break the family unit and then what would you have?

    i hope this lady can get some help to restore the foundations of her marriage and wish her family all the very best.

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  • Nope, never the right answer.

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  • I know someone who did this and it only prolonged the brake up which turned out even messier. Not a good idea.

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  • I must say I agree with most of the responses she received.

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  • No big decisions like making human life, until you get to the root of the problem or issue at hand. Then when the coast is clearer, consider it then.

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  • Wouldn’t think this would work… Never even knew it was a thing

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  • I find it a terrible idea. That’s not a reason to have a child! Go to therapy to see if your marriage can be saved.

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  • I wouldn’t exist if people didn’t actually do this. After being told I was an accident for years, finding out I was a sneaky plan to get someone to stop cheating just shat all over the teensy scrap of sense of self I had.

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  • People do it but it doesn’t make it a good idea.

    Reply

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