A brutally honest mother who’s not afraid of candidly discussing the aftermath of childbirth, has been praised by fellow parents for her Instagram posts. But is she too honest?

Victoria, 36, from East London, is a self-confessed ‘foul-mouthed’ mother-of-two, who recently gave birth to her second child, Edith, whom she said ‘smashed through her cervix’ with her ‘giant cranium’.

Other posts describe swollen nipples, suffering from piles and not even knowing what time of day it is.

Speaking to Femail, designer blogger Victoria explained she’s always been very honest and open about subject others would consider ‘embarrassing or taboo.’

‘There are so many physical and mental changes that happen during pregnancy and postpartum that actually aren’t discussed by a lot of people,’ she said.

‘So when you suddenly find yourself with a swollen vagina, nipples the size of digestive biscuits and enormous piles hanging out your a*** it can come as a massive shock, and you can feel very alone and abnormal.

‘But these things happen to the majority of us, so why not talk about it and normalise the fact that motherhood doesn’t always live up to the ridiculous ideals of it all being beautiful and perfect?

‘It’s been one whole month since Edith the anus impaler conquered my cervix with her giant cranium and overthrew Oliver’s reign as King of the baby bell****,’ one of her post read.

In another she wrote, ‘I no longer know what the f****** time is, whether my vagina will ever feel the same again or how I can take a s*** without my insides falling out,’ it goes on.


View this post on Instagram

After a long and heavy minged wait, I am thrilled to finally introduce the latest addition to the Crafty Fox family; baby Edith Margot. This beautiful little bean smashed her way through my cervix like a well oiled cannon, taking out 95% of my labia and bringing with her a rather unsightly anal sibling; my third surprise child – Herbert the horrific hemorrhoid. What a shock for hubs to discover the little fella making his escape from my bulbous botty whilst he attempted to catch the cascade of labour induced poo pouring gracefully out of my spread eagled cheeks. Despite his best efforts to preserve my dignity (he failed) and contain the cheeky monkey (he couldn’t), Bertie, as we affectionately call him, proved to be a very determined nugget and officially entered this world on the 21st May, weighing in at an impressive 2.3lbs of bum meat. It’s been an emotional 12 days together but I think it’s fair to say, he’s changed my A hole forever. Now to find a lifetime supply of anusol and Bertie and Edith their first matching outfits. #twinning #analbaby #saygoodbyetoyourbumhole #babyannouncement #postpartumbody #postpartum #piles #hemorrhoids #pregnancy #mumbod #mumlife #motherhood

A post shared by Victoria (@thecraftyfox.uk) on


View this post on Instagram

So you got the baby out. Well bloody done. If it exited via your vadge, you’re probably feeling like your cervix has been pummeled repeatedly by a small transit van and your swollen flaps are hanging forlornly like two beefy hammocks between your knees. And if like me, your kids head literally tore you a new arsehole (thanks babe) you’re also probably struggling to distinguish were fanny begins and anus ends – it’s all just merged into one meaty mess, held precariously together by a flimsy bit of string. Don’t worry, it’ll heal in no time, but at some point in these first few hazy, crazy, vaginally ruined days of motherhood, you need to be prepared for the fourth and final stage of labour – the first poo. Not going to lie, it’s going to be anal armageddon but you can make things a little more comfortable by following these simple sphincter steps. ⭐First and foremost, don’t hold it in! The longer you leave it, the bigger and harder that turd will grow and before you know it, it’ll feel like you’re trying to squeeze a breeze block through a cheerio. Feel the urge – brace for impact. ⭐Stool softeners are your friend. Start necking those fuckers asap and make sure you’re eating your five portions of fruit and veg a day – jeez, I’d go so far as to snort a line of Brussels sprouts if it eased the descent of that dump ⭐Release the fear and the turds will flow. We’ve all heard about hypnobirthing and the same concept applies to shitting, just try to relax and breathe! Get your anal zen on and visualise your battyhole opening up like a beautiful (if not slightly deformed) rosebud. ⭐Use a warm damp flannel to apply gentle counter pressure to your broken Betsy. It should ease the sensation of your uterus/anus falling out and as an added bonus, you can leave the flannel out for hubs’ daily facial wipe down. I mean he is partly responsible for this situation so why not get a bit of payback. ⭐Don’t have kids #postpartum #postpartumbody #mumlife #motherhood #mumbod #thebump #truthaboutmotherhood #funnyvideo #funny #poo #pregnancy #hitchcock

A post shared by Victoria (@thecraftyfox.uk) on


View this post on Instagram

When I told my Mum I was posting a video of me dancing with my flange out, she was outraged. “You can’t show your fairy on Instagram” she cried. Don’t worry Mum, I’m not about to reveal my battered flaps to the world (yet), I was actually referring to my breast pump. Little did I know, these ridiculous cones are indeed ‘flanges’ and as it turns out, mine were fucking massive. Couldn’t work out why my norks were resembling two swollen slugs wearing milk ejaculating penis helmets by the end of each pumping session, but a quick google search later revealed that my flanges were to blame. Upon this discovery, hubs excitedly dug out an old WHSmith ruler and we measured my nips together (sexy). THEY ARE F-ING TINY. Pretty unfair given that my areolas are the size of digestive biscuits. But hey, nature is a cunt. Two flange sizes smaller and we’re in milky business. P.s don’t be jel of how fit I look in this video #blessed #flangefun #flange #pumping #breastfeeding #exclusivelypumpingmama #mama #mumlife #parenthood #funnyvideo

A post shared by Victoria (@thecraftyfox.uk) on


View this post on Instagram

Welcome to the eyebags of a new Mum. It’s been one whole month since Edith the anus impaler conquered my cervix with her giant cranium and overthrew Oliver’s reign as King of the baby bellends. Those four weeks have felt like a blur – long days merging into even longer nights of feeding, rocking, hushing and kissing, whilst trying to catch a few unbroken moments of rest before the whole process starts over again. I no longer know what the fucking time is, whether my vagina will ever feel the same again or how I can take a shit without my insides falling out. Parenthood is brutal, especially during these early days – one moment you feel like a majestic queen filled with euphoria and capable of taking on the world and the next, you’ve eaten a whole packet of chocolate digestives, cried at a stenna stairlift commercial and are consumed by the fear that you will never be able to give your children enough. So if you’re a new Mum and you haven’t managed to leave the house, get dressed, brush your teeth or wash your fanny in days, know that you’re not alone. There’s a whole dirty minged army of us out there wondering what the f has happened to our lives and how will we ever get back to normality. Eventually we will but in the meantime, do whatever you have to do to survive. You’re a fucking warrior. Before you know it, your teeny baby will be all grown up and be even more of a dickhead than they are now. #parenthood #newmum #motherhood #postpartum #survival #womenarewarriors #mumlife #babylove #femalesolidarity #stronggirlsclub #livingmybestlife #misssleep

A post shared by Victoria (@thecraftyfox.uk) on


View this post on Instagram

If you haven’t caught projectile shit on the back of your hand this weekend, I don’t think we can be friends. This is almost definitely my comeuppance for incorrectly delivering some catastrophic news to Oliver about one of his peers earlier this week. An innocent enough mistake to make when your toddler asks “Where is (insert name here)” 6369642 times in a row, you mishear who they are asking after, think they’re referring to your family dog who sadly passed away and then repeatedly say “she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead” on repeat until you realise you’ve just put your son in therapy for the rest of his life. Just to clarify the person in question is NOT dead. I’m going to hell. At least Edith had the decency to co-ordinate her bumhole to her cardigan. #parenthood #motherhood #mumlife #toddler #babypoo #karma

A post shared by Victoria (@thecraftyfox.uk) on

Do you think sometimes mums can be too open and honest about motherhood? Or is it important to try and normalise the mundane?

Share your comments below


  • not a polite way to describe the truth. Does she love her baby? I get the feeling she resents her little new life she has

    Reply


  • Hilarious! I love it!

    Reply


  • Good on her! Alot aren’t honest or talk about things and then when something happens to others they feel so alone. By her being so brutally honest and making light of the ‘shitty’ experiences (pardon the pun) shes making alot of other mums feel less alone

    Reply


  • Men really don’t have any idea do they? LOL

    Reply


  • I think she is just saying what we all think but are too afraid to say out loud in case we upset others. I love how she has opened up about everything. Now maybe a lot of Mum’s will realise that it is natural what they are going through

    Reply


  • So much of what we experience during and after childbirth is so foreign to us so I do think it’s important to share. It makes us feel that we’re not alone and those weird things happening to our body that we’re too scared to mention to anybody, happen to most mums. And if you don’t like her honesty, you don’t have to follow her.

    Reply


  • I guess she is saying aloud what many mums are feeling inside but too afraid or embarrassed to say!

    Reply


  • Not for me but she will speak to others, benefit of choice if its not for you don’t read it

    Reply


  • Nah, it’s good to be open, normalise and and share

    Reply


  • Ha ha. She says what I’m thinking but too scared to say lol.

    Reply


  • It’s just what so many women go through. Let’s remove the taboo about it

    Reply


  • I believe it’s good to normalise things as much as we can. This stops judgement and people from being biased towards others.

    Reply


  • Normalising is one thing, her take on that is something different again. But each to their own.

    Reply


  • You either like reading this stuff or you don’t and I think it’s important that it’s available for those who do.

    Reply


  • I personally don’t like the way she talks and the images she shares.

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?

No picture uploaded yet
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.

Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just submit?

Write A Rating Just Submit
Join