Mum admits the hardest thing she has ever done in life, hands down, is motherhood.

Motherhood can be so rewarding and beautiful and then it can be really hard, lonely, some days can be really awful. In a world where everything can be so glossed over and glamorous, it’s a little scary to admit that.

But…motherhood isn’t glamorous. Motherhood is raw and real. It’s not the expectations we have, and it’s not the expectations others have of us.

There is the idea that motherhood alone should leave us feeling fulfilled. For some people, it just doesn’t… they need to work, they need to have multiple hobbies, they need more… and you know? That’s okay.

Being a stay at home mum, isn’t easy, despite what many will say. There’s no breaks, no quiet time, no painting or knitting or acquiring hobbies.

There’s no praise for being a mother. No awards, no pay, no way to see how you’re going, only feedback from others is If you’re doing it wrong. Ancient Egypt would dedicate goddesses and statues to women who bore babies and worship them. Our society? We expect so much and give back so little to mothers. Mothers aren’t always treated like goddesses.

So we feel guilty to ask for help or support because we are meant to be loving every moment, and not needing support. But we do need it. We do. We are meant to ask for support. We are meant to get it any way we can because it’s tough being a mother. It just is. I couldn’t cope without support.

We aren’t meant to be perfect…
We are meant to leave the dishes in the sink
Hire cleaners
Eat cake,
We should be enjoying these years as the best years and not killing ourselves to do it all because anything less makes us feel we are inadequate
We all yell sometimes
We all go to bed sadder on those days

But we forget how great we are… we forget that that we sneak into their room and watch them sleep and say sorry.

We are so exhausted doing it all we forget to give ourselves a pat on the back when we are doing it so great

You’re not meant to be always switched on
You’re not always meant to be patient
You’re not always gonna cook nutritional meals and have a spotless house. That shit is exhausting
You’re not always meant to look amazing and glamorous.

Kids are gonna yell or misbehave and we think that means we aren’t doing a good job but it’s actually just kids being kids.
Kids are meant to yell and be wild and then mothers lose their shit sometimes.

And sometimes mothers can go on girls trips, kid free and still be the most amazing, dedicated mother, because she loves her kids and herself enough to know when she needs it.

That is motherhood.

This post originally appeared on Laura Mazza – Mum on the Run.

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