Now I am all for celebrating that you have not broken the kid or your marriage by the time your baby turns 1 but do I really have to attend?

Honestly, I hate kids parties.

They’re a bit like bad hens nights. You know the ones.

Awkward conversations with other mums you barely know, forced merriment, random locations and never enough booze. Though I am partial to fairy bread and pots of jelly beans.

Bunting is bulls**t.

I’m always amused at the amount of effort mums put into the 1st birthday party.

Hand-made bloody bunting from Etsy, entertainment (seriously?!), a birthday cake that just screams “look at me, I’m (trying to be) the perfect mother”, and of course a theme. Because the kid at the tender age of 12 months really loves transport. FFS. They’ve only just discovered their elbows.

Present pains

Then there’s present politics. How much to spend? What to buy? What can I re-gift?

You feel compelled to buy some overpriced bloody Lamaze/Baby Einstein squeaky learning thing because you’re all about advancement and learning. Course you are. When really, you know the kid is going to spend more time playing with the wrapping paper than the actual brain cell increasing organic Tibetan wooden music maker that cost more than your paid parental leave would allow.

The event

And so you arrive late (on purpose), shove down organic gummy bears while trying to keep your own kid from licking all the icing from the cupcakes. A random mum starts rabbiting on about her latest Thermomix recipe for buckwheat pancakes (yawn). Claire, Cara, Lara, something like that.

Your husband has of course gotten out of this one. It’s a negotiation and he’s agreed to only attend parties where other men he knows will be in attendance and where cold craft beer is served. So basically he’s never going to any. Thanks.

The getaway

The fancy 5 layered cake is finally brought out. We all sing half heartedly and then the birthday dad starts thanking his wife and everyone he’s ever met. He gets teary. I get mad. It’s too much and my 3rd coffee is starting to wear off so I make our escape.

We’re halfway out the door when the mother runs at me and says “You can’t leave” like some scene from Home and Away. It’s dramatic. “You must take this with you!” and she shoves a bag of lollies, a balloon and custom made cookie in my hand. Like she has some party bag KPI’s to meet.

My kid spots it and lunges at me. Oh good. More sugar.

Can you relate? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com


  • lol at your hubby! you need to re-negotiate :) cheers for the read

    Reply


  • Your child’s 1st Birthday is the 1st Anniversary of you giving birth to your baby

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  • Even though I want the points, I won’t recommend this article

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  • Don’t particularly like this article. I’m about to celebrate my little boys first birthday in two months and I have absolute joy in doing so.
    With an attitude like that, maybe you should never have received an invite or you should have declined.

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  • Parties should be a fun event whether it’s 1 or 100 and those in-attendance should put their heart into it as well. Party invitations come with a acceptance or unable to attend, so if you are not into the event decline graciously.

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  • Haha. Absolutely loved this, my thoughts exactly (-:

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  • I totally agree! I am all for BBQ’s that don’t take long to organise and who even has time to decorate.

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  • Although I do love a good kid’s party, some are a little OTT. I have a weakness for epic birthday cakes though.

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  • Ridiculous the way parents go overboard these days. At 12months or 1 year, the child doesn’t want to be too much out of his normal routine and a birthday party to him is nothing. Mum and Dad get over it. Have your parents and in-laws and siblings to celebrate this event and move on. Wait till the child is about 4 or 5 and can appreciate your effort. IT’S THEIR BIRTHDAY, NOT FOR YOU!

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  • I see your view on your article but i love kids birthday party milestones. I only attend close family and friends birthdays so i havn’t experienced what you have.

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  • We had a very low key party at a park with family, nothing fancy, no smash cake, no photoshoot, no crazy. It ended early because it was to cold, no worries there will be plenty more right. 6 months later she died unexpectedly from a chest infection and for the rest of my life I will regret not goving her the party she deserved because she only had the one. If you want to have a big extravagant party for your child (be that more for your benifit or for theirs) you do that, because you have no idea how many birthday parties they (or you) will get.

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  • I felt too embarrassed to have a first birthday party for my kids as to me it would have felt like I was saying “Come on over and buy my kid a present”…. I said no Parties until they were turning 4. They all had their very first party at age 4. When they were younger then that they had a cake and gifts to open from Mum and Dad and the grandparents. They were very happy.

    Each to their own but it just wasnt something that I felt comfortable doing.

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  • congrats, first birthdays are so special

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  • First child I would have said you were crazy.

    Second child I completely agree. It’s definitely something more for the parents…I don’t think there’s anything wrong with celebrating that you’ve lasted a year!

    Third child…he’ll be one two days after Christmas…I doubt hell even get a card! Ha


    • Yeh, its funny how things change after the first child!

    Reply


  • It is one way of getting all the close relatives together as a group, with a few close mutual friends of the relatives included in our case. Finger food and of course a birthday cake, something simple that the 1 year old can have some too. No need for too much sugary food or a lot of lollies.

    Reply

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