A mum has shared her concern after discovering her twelve-year-old daughter’s secret Instagram account.

Posting her story on Mumsnet, a concerned mum has shared her shock and disappointment after discovering her twelve-year-old daughter had a secret Instagram account.

The mum said that despite telling her daughter that she was not allowed to sign up to the social media site, the account had been active for a while, and couldn’t believe what her daughter was posting.

Growing Up Too Fast

Although she was tempted to confront her daughter immediately after finding the secret Instagram account, the mum says that she decided to keep a close eye on it instead and was horrified by what she saw.

“She has asked me for an Instagram account lots of times and I said no,” she posted.

“I recently found out she had created an account without telling me. I was going to tell her right away that I knew and deal with it but I decided to monitor it for a few days. I have seen she has posted photos of herself in a bikini which she knows is unacceptable. I now feel like I can’t trust her.”

The mum said she plans to confiscate her daughter’s smartphone and replace it with one that doesn’t have internet access.

Ways Around It

Parents commenting on the mum’s post agreed with her decision to take the phone but pointed out that her daughter was likely to find a way around the ban.

“Taking her phone away will stop it for a while but she will find a way,” one mum wrote. “If you allow some things, then I think they are less likely to hide things.”

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“They are seeing older women posting pictures, getting likes and they want the same attention and approval,” said another. “It is like a drug chasing likes.”

With Instagram removing its ‘like’ feature in Australia as part of a trial, only time will tell if it reduces the pressure on children and teens to grow up too fast.

Did you discover that your child had a secret Instagram account? Share your story in the comments.

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  • Not yet…he’s really young as of now. but will find out sooooooon i’m sure … just would try that he tells me before he creates one.


  • A frank and honest conversation would be a very good idea.


  • Unfortunately all you can do is point out what can happen if the wrong people get hold of the photos she is sending.


  • This could happen without you knowing and its scary, thankfully my 2 aren’t at that age yet


  • My daughter has snap chat not instagram. How scary it can be for us as parents.


  • No, I didn’t but a friend did find her 11 year old son had one (he was in primary school). His phone was taken from him andthe account removed. However, about a year later (when he was still under 13) he pressured his mum who then allowed him to set one up. I’m not sure of the lesson there. She simply said he’s the 3rd child and wore her down.


  • I think it’s important to explain why rules have been put in place. I would likely explain my reasoning, and sit down with her and watch a documentary of child sex trafficking (there have been some great ones made that have been made for educational purposes for teenagers) and let her truly know the risks and dangers.


  • Oh dear, very worrying. Yes, so important to warn them of the dangers.


  • No they haven’t got secret accounts – maybe the removal of likes could reduce the instances of Instagram accounts too.


  • I too would be horrified. Probably hard to stop her, but you can make it a lot more difficult.


  • Instead of just saying No to having account, it is imperative you explain to them why … the dangers associated with trolling and bullying, etc.

    • I agree. I even think with just saying no, this mum could have brought on the secretive behaviour of her daughter herself.


  • You have to talk with your children about the dangers of social media and all dangers for that matter, and hope that they heed your warnings.

    • I agree – such an important conversation to have at an early age.


  • Lock the phone in a way so it can only be used in an emergency. Put emergency numbers in it and they can only be used for them for calls and texts – receiving and sending.


  • Sadly this is all too common. Children are under pressure to be like their peers. I would remove the account and take the phone away for 2 weeks. Explain to her that it is a privilege to be earned to get her phone back and let her know it is unacceptable the content she is sharing.


  • My eldest 2 got Instagram account when they were 13yrs old or so. We didn’t say no, but just started following them. They post innocent pictures like nature in low frequency so I’m not concerned at all.


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